And the Sky Was Full of Stars
by x Varda x
Summary: Rodney is seriously injured on what should have been just another simple planetary survey mission. Because nothing’s ever easy in the Pegasus Galaxy... Warnings: Darkfic, deathfic


**Author:** **x_varda_x**  
**Recipient:** **busaikko**  
**Pairing:** Gen, John and Rodney  
**Rating:** T (15)  
**Word Count:** 2000  
**Warnings:** Darkfic, Deathfic

**Summary:** Rodney is seriously injured on what should have been _just_ another simple planetary survey mission. Because nothing's ever easy in the Pegasus Galaxy...

**A/N:** Written for Busaikko in the sga_santa fic exchange on LiveJournal

**_And The Sky Was Full of Stars_**

"Just one more planet to go in this quaint little backwater system," Rodney announced from the co-pilot's chair as John eagerly swung the small Puddle Jumper around in space until the dark side of the orb appeared in the window.

"Anything?" John asked.

"Hmm."

"Is that good 'hmm' or the usual bad one?"

"Hmm, what? Oh, I'm not sure yet. The sensors can't penetrate the upper atmosphere. Take us in closer."

"Aye, Captain," John said brightly with a mock salute.

Rodney scowled at him and muttered, "At this rate I'll miss dinner." He flapped his hand in John's general direction as he continued, "It's steak tonight, so hurry it along."

John rolled his eyes as the dark green shadowed side filled the entire window. He brought up the HUD to track their progress and waited for Rodney's analysis.

"Still nothing," Rodney admitted heavily after a couple of minutes. "Maybe we should've waited for Ronon and Teyla to get back from the New Athos."

"'A _quick_ survey,' you said. 'Nothing dangerous, no scary beasties, and probably no humans either.'"

"I know, I know. But maybe if we do a descent into the upper atmosphere itself, I might be able to tune the sensors to cut through it."

Before they had even skimmed the topmost layer of the atmosphere, the Jumper jolted as the inertial dampeners hiccupped.

_"McKay?!"_ John drawled.

"I don't know! Did you hit something?"

"What is there to hit, apart from space dust?"

"Any number of things," Rodney said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Debris, Darts, asteroids, miniature moons, gravity sheer…"

"I _didn't_ hit anything!"

To accentuate his point, the Jumper started to shake and roll, both men only just staying in their seats as the nose pitched down, gravity snagged the ship and the engines failed.

"Looks like it's your turn, McKay," John said as he wrestled with the unresponsive controls.

The Jumper plummeted, tendrils of orange heat and flame licking up the windscreen in the rapid orbital entry dive.

----------

Rodney ran into the rear compartment, cursing inept pilots with what little breath he had that was not currently being utilised to have a panic attack. He fiddled with the crystals, zapping his fingers and flinging expletives at the useless little pieces, as one-by-one he removed the burnt components until he was left with practically nothing.

He plugged in his tablet, which helpfully told him that now that they were in the atmosphere and falling fast. He detected a strange magnetic field around the planet which had screwed up and shorted out all the vital crystals. John should've spotted it. Hell, Rodney should've spotted it himself, far more than flyboy! But the scanner had not been set up to scan for such a strange frequency. So Rodney dismissed it and focused his adrenaline fuelled thoughts on pulling a miracle out of thin air in the seconds they had left before a very hard, and very final impact, where nought would be left to mark their explosive end but a smoking crater.

He managed to get one engine back on minimal power and shouted to John as such. He caught a few words of John's reply, "It's not enough! Brace for…"

Rodney heard a loud noise, felt a sudden blast of air and falling sensation which stopped abruptly then black became everything. It swarmed in and choked away all of Rodney's awareness until nothing was left but the void.

----------

Rodney opened his eyes and shivered. His sight was met by an infinite number of tiny white dots against black. He stared into the abyss as he blinked slowly and came back to awareness.

Pain went through him in undulating waves and he could not localise the source or get away from it. He steeled his mind to block it out, but all his efforts were futile as he did not seem to have any strength. He gasped as he failed to suppress the agony and the sensations rolling through his body overwhelmed him.

----------

"Rodney? Come on, buddy."

The familiar, urgent voice faded in and out like a badly tuned radio.

"Can you hear me? Stay awake for me."

Rodney opened his eyes and was met by darkness. There were small lights above him on a black canvass, but they were not bright enough to see by. It was like being watched by the gods themselves. He knew they were warm, fiery embers up close, but in their unfathomable distance from him they were only white and cold.

Rodney had a sudden crushing sensation of how insignificant, small and lonely he really was in the grand scheme of things. All that he could see were objects with life-spans measured in billions, and sizes in millions, and they made him all too aware that he was just one man.

That was until a beam of light pierced the darkness, reflecting off the ground nearby and into John's worried face. Rodney wasn't really alone where he lay out flat on his back with his upper body covered in blankets, but that was small comfort to him.

Even with the warming material, long shards of ice spread their cold fingers all the way through and deep inside Rodney's body. He could feel them piercing and tearing apart his living tissue with pain and drawing blood from him in fearful torrents seeping through whatever clothing he had retained in the blast.

Rodney inhaled and winced. "What should I..." he gasped. "Hold onto? The p-pain or the fragrant metallic smell of my own b-blood?

John furrowed his brow and Rodney felt him moving and holding something, most likely a bandage, against his side. That area didn't hurt though, it just felt numb. But somehow, the morbid part of him still wanted to know; "How bad is it?"

John pressed his hand more firmly against Rodney's abdomen, but there was no sensation left in that place, for which Rodney was vaguely grateful for. While he worked, John spoke without looking at Rodney's face, "Well, both engines were torn off in the crash. The back door's missing, you must've been sucked out in the last stage of the descent. There's no way the Jumper's going anywhere for a while. Dial in is in an hour. Just hold on until then."

"Th-that's nice," Rodney whispered, surprised and terrified by the scratchy weakness of his voice. "But not what I meant."

"I know." John sighed heavily. "You'll be fine." But John could not hide the flicker of doubt that passed across his face.

Rodney grimaced, "Don't lie to me. I'm going to die."

"No, you're not." John replied with a conviction even Rodney could tell was false.

Rodney panted as the feeling suddenly made an unwelcome return in his midsection. A small animalistic gargling cry came from his throat as he violently trembled. He said between wheezes, "Just tell me… this. Is anything… sticking… out? B-b-bones or-or…" he gritted his teeth and hissed through them, "Sticking _in_ me?"

John glanced along McKay's body and his jaw tightened over what he saw. Rodney inhaled and exhaled shallowly and said breathily, "Come on! I _want_ to know!"

"You really don't."

"That bad, huh?" He closed his eyes, "I knew it. I'm a dead man. I'm done. It's the end."

"No, it's not. I just know how squeamish you are over splinters. You'll be fine. Just think, when we get back to Atlantis, Keller'll fix you up with a nice soft bed in the infirmary…"

"They hurt my back."

"You can laze around all day while she tends to your every need at your call. People will wait on you hand and feet. But you have to stay alive for them to be able to do that, Rodney."

"As tantalising as that sounds, I think there are some things even Jennifer can't fix."

John merely looked at him, his expression blank.

----------

John ignored the headache from the concussion which had rendered him unconscious for an hour after the crash. An hour where Rodney had been all alone, bleeding out and hurting.

He glanced down at Rodney's still form. Although the critically injured man had trembled, there had been no other movement before or since.

Rodney was a man so full of vibrant life in speech, movement and wild gestures of seemingly boundless energy and enthusiasm.

But now there was nothing but stillness and silence as he lay there broken and bleeding.

"This is such a stupid way to die." Rodney said weakly.

"Well then, don't," John snapped, as anger began to overwhelm the sense of unreality and emptiness the shock had caused.

Never when Rodney was awake was he not moving about, or rapidly flying his mouth up and down to form the many words constantly pouring from him.

But now all that was pouring from him was blood, and an expression radiating terror and pain where he lay out under the unforgiving and uncaring sky above.

A few minutes passed, and John watched helplessly as his friend went from being in pain (even with the shot of morphine John had administered), to as he was now. Fading. The only words he spoke were whispered and urgent, and by what he said next, John thought he must be a little bit delirious too to say such things.

Rodney gazed up at the sky, the starlight making his eyes dance, even as they dipped in and out of focus and he blinked languidly.

Rodney suddenly chuckled and smiled, his eyes bright with glee as he said, "What was this dream? Was that all there was?" Rodney's eyes dimmed and his voice became so quiet, John had to strain his hearing to catch the last whispered words, "Is this how it ends…?"

"Don't speak like that!" John cried desperately, patting Rodney's slack and ashen face. "There's so much… You have so much more time left to live!"

Despite Rodney's often superhuman endurance, he was drifting away fast now. There were some things that even he could not survive. He was only a human being after all, and his body could only take so much damage before it was beyond repair and he would die.

Like a match in a blizzard or a single drop of water against a firestorm, all John's efforts with the too-small bandages were in vain and Rodney gradually got weaker and weaker.

"J-John?"

Sheppard grabbed the trembling hand reaching out to him. "I'm here, Rodney. What is it?"

"Tell Jeannie…" Rodney's lower lip quivered, "…and Jennifer… Tell them… I'm sorry."

"Stop that!"

"I wasn't strong enough."

"I said, stop!"

"What?"

"Talking like you're going to give up so easily. The Rodney McKay I know puts up a fight, he may complain all the way, but he stays tough."

Rodney whispered sadly, "Sorry," as a single tear tracked across his face. The liquid took a slow and lonely path through the dirt and blood smeared on Rodney's skin and softly fell from him.

John watched in stunned horror with unbearable grief crashing through him, as Rodney's eyes finally glazed and the blue depths lost their vivid sparkle of life. All that Rodney could see now seemed to be an ocean of eternity as he gazed outwards from the far shore that only the dead were allowed to see.

His oft-relied upon stubbornness had let him down this once and only time.

And under the infinite expanse of the void-like universe above and around them, the twinkling lights shone down unfeeling and unknowing as they looked on impassively at the events taking place in their sight.

John gathered his friend up in his arms and held him against his chest as the faltering breaths became slower and shallower.

Rodney went limp as he exhaled his last breath against Sheppard's neck where John buried his face into Rodney's damp hair. And even then, John did not believe that it was really happening, that the Fates of the Pegasus, or indeed the entire universe, could be this cruel.

So Rodney McKay died, not defending countless innocents from the Wraith or any number of other enemies, but under the sweeping black of an unknown alien world, and the sky was full of stars.


End file.
